New Year, New You, What’s Bothering with You?

Are you still resolved?

If you have New Year’s resolutions, you’re probably a little bothered right now.

It’s week 8 in 2023 and according to a study, January 19th is when most people abandon their New Year’s resolutions.

It’s also been reported that people tend to abandon their resolutions in the second week of February

Research by Forbes states that 80% of us will abandon our resolutions.

I can’t really remember the last time I’ve created an actual New Year’s resolution, especially around fitness. It just always felt like too much pressure.

And now in the doldrums of winter,  at least for us northern hemisphere folks, there’s nothing going on. No festive holidays (I don’t count President’s Day), bleak skies, cold weather.

It’s so blah.

Should we even be starting life goals in the dead of winter? So bothered!

Ditch your resolutions

Well, if you haven’t ditched your resolutions and you’re toiling under them right now, I say ditch them.

Not because you’re doomed to fail. Actually, at this point, if you still have your resolutions and you’ve made it over the two humps of destined failure.

And no, I’m not going to tell you to create SMART goals or SMARTER goals or anything like that. I mean, that’s helpful for sure, but that’s not what I want to talk about.

My journey actually started on Twitter, a little before 2023 started.

Getting comfortable with yourself

I follow a lot of journos and writers on my Twitter account and Andrea Grimes, a journalist based in Texas, wrote this lovely, vulnerable newsletter the day after Christmas about what she learned about herself and her body in 2022.

There’s a lot of body stuff in this newsletter, so if that’s triggering, don’t click on the link, just keep reading.

What I loved about Andrea’s journey was she knew herself, she knew what she needed, and then she just went and took care of it. Granted, a lot of this is being able to pay for it, but there’s also other creature comforts that she talked about in this Twitter thread, one of them I actually did to improve my skin instead of waiting for products to just magically work.

Woohoo, I was inspired!

So I was going to write this blog post in January to inspire you to JUST DO IT…

…but then life happened. Life is still happening. I had other emotionally draining tasks I needed to face and take care of. Not 2023 goals, per se, but I will say they did add to me being more comfortable overall.

But I never lost hope that I’d write this blog post. I had been thinking…hm. The dead of February winter would be better for this post, actually.

So here I am!

Some older advice

I can’t remember where I heard this from, but it was many years ago, during one of the times I had been laid off and looking for a job. The person said that you should write down 100 things that are bothering you. Things like the button hanging off of your shirt or a broken zipper or that window that doesn’t shut properly. Go take care of those things.

I believe that idea has two benefits. The first is that all that itty bitty stuff that bothers you is draining you from the energy of looking for work. So you take care of that stuff, then you have more energy to get into that full-time job of job searching.

The second benefit is building on successes. You took care of things that are bothering you and now you’ve lightened your load.

Ironically, I never followed that advice. I wasn’t ready or supported or prepared for it, to be honest. But it’s good advice. And with all the layoffs happening in the US right now, I hope if you’re a job searcher right now, this advice serves you well.

So…what’s bothering you?

So combining old advice and new journeys, I wanted to ask you what’s bothering you right now? And it can be big stuff like climate change, workers’ rights, reproductive rights, affordable housing…but it could also be smaller stuff like that injury that doesn’t seem to want to heal, the drippy faucet, all your socks have holes.

And it could be the normal resolutions stuff, like, wanting to lose weight, quit smoking, start a hobby.

Write it all down.

You can do the whole SMART or SMARTER goals deal, but here’s what I advise instead.

I want you to find support.

Teamwork makes the dream work!

Whether you are thinking the pandemic is over (it’s not) or not, the past few years have been increasingly more isolating than ever. It’s hard to see these goals accomplished or desires realized.

Where can you find support? I’ll give you three online ways to get ‘er done without it feeling like a burden.

Four ways to do more of what you want (and need) to do

1. There are a lot of Facebook groups online for everything, and yes Facebook is kinda dead. But in recent years, they made this whole pivot around groups. And now groups are pretty robust. Join or create one!
2. I also strongly suggest looking at Meetup to find people like you with the same interests. Join or create a meetup!
3. Gamify your journey, because gamification works. I like the Finch app, which is basically like a Tamagotchi that won’t die, but the more you accomplish, the more you can dress your “birb” and the birdhouse your finch lives in. Every day, the finch goes on adventures, learns new things, and grows. Right now, my finch is a toddler and in a couple of weeks, it’ll become a child. This app also comes with a Discord server and a Facebook group.
4. Seek therapy. You don’t need therapy just for psychological needs. You can use a therapist or counselor to support you in your life changes. Maybe one of your goals is to stop being a people pleaser. A therapist can help you build better boundaries and greater self-esteem. They can be your cheerleader and advisor and it’s just between you and them.

There are no failures, only lessons

I can’t remember where I heard this saying. Probably from TV, and the person/character saying did make me want to roll my eyes, but it’s true. 🙄 

Your “failed” resolutions are just stepping stones to your goals being achieved, at your pace.

So don’t beat yourself up for what hasn’t worked out yet.

And you don’t have to wait until January 1, 2024 to start again.

You can start right now.

Get your list of what’s bothering you and start addressing those issues, with support.

And now, I leave with you a childhood favorite from Reading Rainbow. Get ‘er done! 🤝

If one of the things that’s bothering you is your business’s content, then let’s chat about how I can help.